


Not The Man I Used To Be

by Skyepilot



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angry Kissing, Angst, Arguing, Coulson loves Skye, F/M, Fix-It, Kissing, Making Out, Phil Coulson and his guilt the show, Project: TAHITI, Protective Trip, Skye loves Coulson, Trip knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 18:19:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2477930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyepilot/pseuds/Skyepilot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skoulson feels post 02x04.  Because I needed at least one angry makeout fic. </p><p>Title taken from Fine Young Cannibals song of the same name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not The Man I Used To Be

"What are you working on?"

She shut her laptop as he came down the stairs from his office.

"Why don't we talk about that nice little comment of yours, about explaining undercover again?"

Turning over her shoulder she saw him pause on the steps, frowning, then continue onward.

"You should've dropped it, and you didn't," he answered in a clipped tone.

Skye just shrugged at him, turned back towards the desk.

"But, that didn't answer my question," he asked at her back. "What are you working on?"

She stood up from the desk and put her laptop in her backback, turned back towards him as he stepped closer to her.

"We all have our secrets. Sir."

He stared at the plastic smile on her face and when she went to walk away he rolled his eyes and grabbed her arm.

"Skye."

"Why don't you share yours and I'll share mine?" she said, looking down at his hand on her.

When he let go, she stepped closer to him, letting her bag drop to the floor as she looked at his face under the dim lights.

"This isn't a game," he said.

"No, it's not," she replied, running her fingers up the lapel of his jacket, as he stiffened.

"It must be _so_ frustrating," she said, bringing her mouth very close to his, searching his eyes.

"Maintaining _all_ that control."

He was gritting his teeth at her, muscles working at his jaw.

Sliding one hand around the back of his neck and pressing herself into him, she leaned her mouth against his ear.

"You see," she whispered. "I can do undercover, too."

She let him go as he let out a breath, and she stepped away from him, shaking her head, then picked up her backpack.

"Smooth moves, Mr. Director," she said over her shoulder as she headed away.

"I think you might be losing your edge."

 

***

 

"Trip," Coulson said, walking up to him looking over a new shipment of weapons with Mack.

"Sir," Trip answered.

"Can I speak with you a moment?" he asked, giving Mack a nod.

"Of course," he answered cheerfully as they walked down the hall together.

"What's this about, Director?" he asked as Coulson continued on in silence.

"Skye," Coulson said.

Trip stopped for a moment. "What about her?"

"You've taken an interest in her," Coulson said, face impassive as he looked over the younger man.

"Yeah," he said, he eyebrows knotting. "It's good for someone to have your back these days."

Coulson tried to keep himself in check at the clear implication.

"And since you do," he said. "I'd like you to keep an eye on what she's working on."

"You don't trust her, sir?" Trip asked.

"I trust her, implicitly," Coulson said. "And I know Skye. When she doesn't get the answers she wants, she'll find them her own way."

"Someone like that might be more useful working from the inside instead of the outside, then," he said helpfully.

Coulson narrowed his eyes at him. "Thank you, but, that's not what I'm asking."

"Are you ordering this, sir?" Trip said, looking slightly put out by him.

He wasn't used to being on the recieving end of Trip's disapproval. It caught him off guard.

"No," he finally answered. "I'm asking. Between friends."

"So, we're friends now?" Trip said, raising his chin slightly, crossing his arms.

"Not exactly," Coulson said, pursing his lips. "But, you _are_ hers."

"She doesn't like secrets," Trip said, shaking his head.

"Worse," Coulson replied. He could see the other man starting to come around.

"A secret? Nothing provokes her like a secret."

"That why you have her on those symbols?" Trip asked.

"Exactly," he answers.

"Because, that's all she looks at in her free time."

"Really?" Coulson asked, getting a little nervous under Trip's gaze.

"Wonder why that is?" Trip asked with a smirk.

 

  
***

 

"Sir."

She was standing in front of him in his office, watching him sitting at the desk.

"Have a seat," he said tipping his head towards the chair.

Sitting down she sat stiffly, her hands folded in her lap.

"Welcome Wagon," he said, flipping closed the file in front of him. "We had talked about that."

"Yeah, a long time ago," she added.

"Timing," he said, raising his eyebrowns and pushing away from the desk.

"And now we're having some success, we've encountered gifteds in the field. I think it's time to revisit that."

"Okay," she said, blinking back at him.

"It's going to require a lot of your downtime," he said, standing up. "We'll need a strategy, an approach that we can develop as part of our training."

"Aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves here?" she suddenly asked. "We don't even have enough field operatives to put together an extraction team."

"I thought this was important to you?" he asked, coming around the desk and sitting on the edge.

"It is," she said, looking up at him. "But not at the expense of other, more pressing matters."

"Like what?" he asked.

"Like the symbols," she said slowly, with emphasis. "Figuring them out. Getting the Obelisk?"

"Yeah," he said, standing up again. "I'm taking you off that for the moment."

"Excuse me?" she said, getting right to her feet.

"You heard me," he said, stopping.

Skye looked down at the floor, shut her eyes before looking up at him.

"How stupid do you think I am, sir?"

"Are you teasing that one out?" he asked, cocky.

She walked right up to him, angry, but saw something in his eyes.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked him.

His whole expression changed right in front of her.

"I know you're hiding something and you can't keep pushing me away."

She went to take his hand, but noticed it tremoring.

Her eyes darted up to his as he closed his own.

She took his hand anyway as he gripped hers until the shaking stopped.

And then her arms were wrapped around his neck, pulling him into a hug. He squeezed, hugging her back, unable to resist the contact he had denied himself.

"Skye."

Whispering her name into her hair, his mouth brushed her neck and he felt her whole body shiver in his arms.

He wasn't sure if it was more dangerous to hang on then, or to let go.

Instead, he buried his face into her hair.

Finally, she let go, pushing back against him and he saw her stare, her hand touching her mouth.

His shoulders slumped forward, a guilty expression on his face, and his eyes moved away, considering, calculating, and then flickered up back at hers.

She was still staring, but it wasn't with that startled expression. It had a layer of anger under it.

He stared back, feeling the muscles in his jaw twitch.

They stepped towards each other at the same time, her hands sliding up his chest and his grabbing her hips and her hair, pulling her into him.

She kissed him so fiercely, hand pulling at his tie, her fingers splayed against his face, thumb digging into his jaw as he opened his mouth, feeling her tongue pressing up against his.

He hauled her up by her hips and backed her against the desk, pushing back, as she took his tie apart, then tore into his shirt.

His hand slid up under the back of her top, hesitating over the clasp of her bra.

"I'm so sorry," he said, touching his forehead against hers, becoming suddenly still.

"You want me to be angry with you," she said, after a moment, her fingers brushing against his jawline. "Why?"

"I deserve it," he said, leaning his hands against the desk. "And I know what to do with anger. But, the other thing..."

"That's what I've been reduced to," she said, flatly. "Great."

"I can't do this," he said, pulling away. "Not like that. Not with you."

"Coulson, I know this has to be something big, and dark, and scary," she said, reaching out for him. "But tell me the truth. If it were me going through it instead of you..."

His head shot up and he stared at her, fear covering his face.

"...Would you let me do it alone?"

"No," he said, shaking his head, fighting against something.

"Then why do you think you...?"

"Because I did this. I deserve it, Skye. Maybe even worse."

"What are you talking about?"

"I am suffering the same fate that I inflicted on others. I was in charge of Project: TAHITI. Me. And I'm trying to make it right. And, yes, I deserve it."

She looked startled and angry all at once.

"I will not let you be dragged down with me."

"That's it, then," she said, eyes staring up at him, watery. "You're just giving up."

"It's too late for me," he said, defeated, looking away.

"No," she said, turning his face back to hers. "You were given a second chance. To make this right. Not to cower in fear and die. To be something more than you were before."

"I'm out of time," he said. "My best chance for your future is to get SHIELD on its feet."

"Without _me_? Without _any_ say in it at all? Did you even stop to wonder if I would want a SHIELD without you in it?!"

"You don't mean that," he said. "You're just angry."

"You're damn right I'm angry!" she replied. "What happened to the man who bent the rules to save Mike Petersen's life? Who went in after our team when there was no extraction plan?"

"He fell apart when SHIELD did," Coulson shot back at her.

"I've only known _that_   man," she said. "This other person that you were? He's a ghost."

"I took the most extreme measures to save you, and I've involved you in this now," he answered. "I can't undo that. But, I need to figure out how to stop this, in case it doesn't end with me."

"Let me help," she said, crossing her arms.

"I'm concerned, about it triggering you."

"The symbols."

He nodded.

"Coulson," she asked. "Where are they coming from?"

"I'm making them."

She sighed and looked up at him. "I thought so. You wanted to know what I was working on? Well..."

"Yeah," he said. "I thought so."

Sliding off the desk, she stood close to him.

"If you give up, I walk."

"You're not calling the shots," he said, stepping into her space.

"Then see how it works without me."

She turned away from him, and he grabbed her arm.

When she jerked away from him, he held tighter, until she pushed into him again, pressing him up against the wall, hesistating for just a moment to check his expression before she closed her mouth over his.

"We're not doing this," he said, getting a dizzying glimpse of her before he kissed her back.

"Like hell we aren't," she answered, withdrawing from him, holding tightly to his arms as she pulled them backwards towards the desk.

"Okay," he said, leaning up against her, already feeling a part of himself sinking into her. "Let me lock the door first."

" _Fine_."

 


End file.
